He was more of a big brother to his little sister. And regardless of his approval or lack of, Dad would not tolerate the boys teasing me about who I am. They were also expected to be protective of me when we were out playing in the neighborhood.
Because I knew Dad disapproved, I did not fault Paul for some of his behaviors whenever Dad was around. I knew it was not the real Paul.
He was my oldest brother and liked all little sisters I suppose, I always looked up to him. Needless to say, there were several times he had to come to my rescue when other kids would pick on me for wearing a dress or wanting them to call me Yvonne. Too often he was my knight in shining armor. As it turned out I found myself developing something of a crush on my big brother.
Now the title of this post is 'Seducing Paul.' I should make it very clear at the time I did not know I was seducing Paul.
I knew I liked Paul. I knew I liked him somewhat the same ways girls are suppose to like boys. And I wanted him to like me or at the very least to think I was pretty. If you had asked me did I want Paul to be my boyfriend, I would have found the question silly.
However here is the thing. After we fucked, after I knew what it was like to be with Paul as his 'girlfriend,' my feelings for him did not go away. And they were not unlike my feelings I had had before we fucked. They were stronger and at the same time I knew it was more important to hold them in check, but the feelings were essentially the same.
When I look back on the weeks and months leading up to when Paul came to my room that night, I know that Paul was not totally responsible for one happened. Even though I did not know anything about what a boy and a 'girl' such as myself do, I could tell sometimes that Paul did.
When he came to my room that night, he did not decide to fuck me. He asked if he could. And I said 'Yes.' And when he fucked me, I asked for more.
Occasionally on television I would see a third party observing a man and woman for lack of a better term flirting. The third party will often say "Get a room all ready."
Until that night I did not really know that Paul and I were flirting. However in retrospect, there are times when if he had not been my brother and I had not been his little sister that someone might have suggested to us that we should 'get a room already.'
I am understandably a bit uncomfortable with confessing that I seduced my older brother into fucking his little ten-year-old sister. However as you read the next several parts of this flirtation between Paul and I I am sure you will come to see that I may be more responsible for want happened that night than my brother.
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