Seeing My Future

It would be missing the point if one was to look at my life following what happened with Jon and think that I simply decided to be a slut.  I did not decide to be a slut.  I did not make it my life mission to suck each and every cock that presented itself for sucking.

When I headed back into the same woods I had just visited a month earlier with Jon with another boy, it was almost too much of a coincidence.  Had Jon told Nelson.  They were friends I knew and he knew Jon and I had been hanging out together.  And now here we were walking into the same section of the woods that I had just visited one month earlier.  Since Jon I had only sucked cock twice more.  Once with my brother a couple days after I did Jon.  (I really did love that Paul had such a big cock.  It was . . . . so much more of a good thing.)  And I had done one of my classmates after school after he walked me home.

Nelson and I were not dating.  We had bumped into each other at the library and decided to go to the park together.

As I said, I did not decide to become a slut.  I did however come to the realization that it was not my Mom or my Dad or my classmates or my brothers who would define me.  It was myself and my choices that would define me.

That is why for the last two weeks of school I went every day as Yvonne.  It is why I had convinced Mom to finally allow me to get a name change.  When school started in the fall, anyone who called me Glen would have it wrong.

It is also why I had to accept that I  found myself in a library on summer vacation about to talk to a boy and thinking about the size of his cock.

I had for several years been trying to win the battle, to prove to everyone that I was just a much a girl as any other girl.  But in truth I was not.  I was different.  I had a penis.  I could never be a wife or a mother, not in the traditional sense.  I had to accept that the reasons boys did not like me as much as they seemed to like other girls is because I was less of a girl.  I was tired of fighting the battle.  I would simply be myself and myself at that time loved wearing dresses and sucking dick.  While I may not be a girl, I was totally unwilling to see myself as a boy.

It should come as no surprise that Nelson had invited me into the woods and that dick sucking was in his plans. However, as it turned out, he asked the wrong question. It had not occurred to me that another boy might want to suck my cock. I had headed into the woods hopeful of giving another blowjob and instead I found myself fighting off a boy who wanted to put my dick in his mouth. As I stormed off, he caught up with me and made me promise not to ever tell anyone. "Who am I going to tell, Nelson. And why should they care?" I had learned another lesson about myself and boys.